February 2016

Valentine’s Day divorce blues?

If you’re going through a separation or divorce, Valentine’s Day may seem like yet another difficult hurdle to get over in this often painful process. In addition to feeling alone on this day devoted to celebrating love and romance, you may still be grieving for your relationship with your spouse.

Rachel Weiss, a Consensus Collaboration Scotland member who is an accredited coach and counsellor with the Rowan Consultancy, shares some helpful advice for getting through the day and distracting yourself from feelings of sadness:

Get out of the house and do something that usually makes you feel good. While you might be inclined to stay in bed and feel unhappy, getting outside and doing something more active may lift your spirits. It doesn’t have to be overly energetic and ambitious like climbing a Munro! Even a gentle, short walk will help you breathe some invigorating fresh air into your lungs. Or for something a little more relaxing, how about a trip to the cinema, a round of golf or a relaxing day spa?

Buy a nice gift for yourself. If some retail therapy tends to make you feel a little better, pop along to your favourite shop and treat yourself. Even if it’s simply choosing something really tasty for dinner!

Gather some friends or family members together and celebrate your love for them. There’s more to love than romantic love, and spending time with your friends and family who love you as you love them could be just the tonic you need.

If you have children, spend time with them and do something fun. It’s a challenging transition for them, not matter how well you manage the process. This could be another opportunity to show them how much they are loved. Maybe even help them choose or make their cards!

Do something to help someone else out, for example by volunteering at a centre for older people or at food bank, or even simply helping a friend with something that they need done.

Avoid places where you are more likely to come across Valentine’s Day couples, such as restaurants and bars.

When all is said and done, don’t forget that Valentine’s Day, no matter how you spend it, is just another day on your road to a happier future.

Find a Professional to find out how to separate and divorce without confrontation.

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